


baby you're my only reason

by sweetdisaster



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Harry writes poetry, Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, M/M, Poetry, Scared Louis, Secretly Dating, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, brief louis and eleanor, brief zayn mention, louis comes out to liam, not really enemies, secretly dating au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 21:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5514326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetdisaster/pseuds/sweetdisaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry have known each other for practically all their life, but split apart as they grew older. In the years of his life where he was unsure of himself, Harry was the one (unknowingly) who helped him accept who he was. There eventually comes a time where Harry and Louis become friends once again and have to go through the trials of a “secret” relationship, while Louis is still not out and Harry’s not one who socializes with anyone but his other friends at school. Also, Liam likes to set people up on dates and Louis doesn’t know how to say no.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>or.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry and Louis get into a secret relationship. People obviously don’t know, shit happens, but there’s a happy ending. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby you're my only reason

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiii. this took forever to finish and it's very much unedited. I hope you enjoy it anyway, and please leave kudos and comments if you enjoy. :)

Louis looked back on that day and he didn’t know what exactly he thought about it. He knew that what had happened was good for him-or at least these days he did. But when he’d been a young boy, only thirteen, he hadn’t realized what it meant. He still had moments where he knew that no one would be okay with it, but regardless of who would or wouldn’t be okay with it he was finally accepting it. Now at eighteen he was comfortable with it-just not enough to tell anyone. It only took about two years of wanting to look at boys rather than girls, and those moments where he wanted to crawl in a hole and die because he felt so awful while coming to terms with it. And when his mom had come in wanting to know what was wrong, all he could do was cry into her shoulder with no explanation. Louis was pretty sure that she knew though, knew that he wasn’t that boy who wanted to date all of the pretty girls-he’d rather date the pretty boys. 

He would look back on those days, remembering the struggle that was coming to terms with himself and the forced interactions with that other boy who his mom made him hang out with because their parents were friends Louis remembered making flower-crowns with Harry. He remembered getting ice cream on hot summer days because they had nothing else to do anyway. What Louis didn’t remember was when Harry got a whole group of friends that didn’t like him. He didn’t remember when he started to feel alone because the one constant he had was being pulled away faster than he really knew. 

If he were honest though, Harry was all he ever had known. There was a part of him who knew that Harry’s blatant confidence was part of what helped him come to terms with who he was, but he also knew that there was no way for him to thank the other boy without coming out himself. Though it was quite possible that Harry already knew too, just like his mom did.

They were in high school now. High school was full of cliques and bullies and people who damn well shouldn’t have been around other humans, but there were also the nice ones. This included the people who would walk in front of you just to hold the door open, or went out of their way to ask if you’d had a good day: those were the people Louis was friends with. Liam was his best friend. He’d come around soon after Harry got sucked into his own group of friends, and although Louis wasn’t out to Liam-they were still best friends.

A typical day at Louis’ school started like this: he’d wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, say goodbye to his mom for the day, then head to school. It was simple and easy. That’s how Louis liked it to be. However, some days there were things that ruined his plans. Things like Liam calling him and telling him that he was riding with his friend Zayn, meaning Louis would have to walk and go by himself. That wasn’t necessarily a problem for Louis, he just preferred to be with his friend. That’s where he was comfortable. 

Despite what made him comfortable, Louis ended up walking to school on his own one day. It was peaceful, a lovely day, and that’s also the day that Harry came back into his life. It’s not like their moms didn’t still talk-they did-and it wasn’t like they hadn’t had times where they made small conversation with one another. It’s safe to assume though, that Louis was never fully comfortable with the small talk that those times entailed. 

This day was where it all started though. This one little conversation created a situation that spurred out of control. 

\--

Louis was walking down the sidewalk when he heard the footsteps of someone else behind him. He glanced back momentarily, furrowing his eyebrows when he saw the familiar head of curly hair. Louis turned back around, minding his own business once more as he walked forward. 

"Louis?" 

Louis bit down at his lip, stopping in order to turn around and respond the boy behind him. "Harry, hi," He said quietly, looking at him. Louis watched as Harry's lips curved into a smile. 

"Hey!" Harry said, a pep in his voice even though he spoke so slowly. "How are you?" 

It was an unconscious thing when they started walking again, Louis looking down at the sidewalk as he walked with Harry. "I'm alright," He murmured. "Liam's riding with Zayn today, so." Louis shrugged a bit. "What about you?"

"I'm pretty great, actually," Harry said, smiling at Louis. "This poem that I'm writing has been chosen for this contest thing, and I'm really pumped about it."

"Really?" Louis asked, glancing up at Harry in surprise. He'd vaguely remembered the boy being into writing, but he never knew he was so serious about it. As Harry ducked his head, sheepish, Louis felt a surge of affection for the boy that he hadn't spoken to in so long. 

"Yeah," Louis heard Harry murmur. "It's like, a really personal piece too. I'm really, really nervous."

"I'm sure you've for nothing to worry about," Louis said, looking away again. "You're super talented at everything else. I'm sure your writing is fantastic."

"Thank you," Harry said softly, hands stuffed in his pockets. "I um," He paused for a moment. "I was wondering if you'd read it? Help me a bit? My mom mentioned you’re like, into English and literature and I know you're probably really busy, and we haven’t talked in forever, but-" 

"Sure," Louis said, interrupting Harry as he was beginning to ramble. "Are you sure you want me to help though?" Harry nodded quickly and it caused a smile to curve onto Louis' lips. "Alright," He murmured. "Just tell me when."

\---

When they first started having their ‘meetings’, they had two a month. Harry wrote new poems for each meeting, and they picked the best one from each month. It wasn’t long before they began to have more frequent meetings, though, just so they’d have an excuse to see and talk to each other. The truth of the matter was that neither of them were ever going to admit that. Louis still wasn’t out, and he’d be damned if he admitted that he was practically best friends with the boy who he never speaks to in the public eye (that was one of the worst parts, in Louis’ opinion). 

Their meetings were getting longer each time, too. They’d read the poem, critique it, Harry would rewrite it, and then they’d end up just watching a film or baking something until Louis’ mom got home. Harry would leave then, and Louis still didn’t quite know why.

Their next meeting was on a day in May, Louis remembered. During this meeting there was a lot more ‘subtle’ flirting than normal. Well, Louis thought it was flirting-how was he to know? He’d been in the closet since he was thirteen years old. All Louis knew was that Harry was watching him closely as he read this poem, and biting at his lip until it turned pinker than it already was. 

“Harry,” Louis said, looking up a couple of stanzas in. “Are you okay?” He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side a bit. Louis wasn’t stupid, this poem seemed really personal, but Harry needed to relax. He watched as Harry’s cheeks flushed, the boy nodding and glancing down at the table. Louis fought to not feel endeared. 

He read through the rest of the poem, a feeling curling into the pit of his stomach as he set the paper down and looking back up at Harry. He watched the boy for a moment, thinking before he began to speak. “I think that one is my favorite,” Louis whispered. 

“Really?”

Louis nodded, clearing his throat a bit. There was something about that poem that he felt was, not to sound overly conceited, about him. It was quiet in the room for a little bit before Louis spoke again. “So,” He said. “I don’t think it really needs any work. We can like, talk about it-if you want?” Louis watched as Harry just shook his head slowly. 

“I think I’m okay,” Harry murmured. “Thank you though. It, uh, it means a lot that you think this one’s your favorite. It took a long time for me to find the inspiration, I guess, to write it.” 

Louis just nodded a bit and the two sat together on the couch, watching the tv. He leaned back against the couch, thinking a bit instead of focusing on whatever movie was playing. Louis knew that Harry was pretty secretive with stuff that he did, but he didn’t know that it was like a super secret. Although, it was possible that he just didn’t want Louis to know. Maybe it was about Harry’s friend Nick. Or one of the girls who the boy was friends with. 

The social aspect of high school and well, just life in general, was really difficult for Louis. He was friends with Liam and a few other people, but he couldn’t do the whole ‘dating’ aspect because he wasn’t out yet. It was absolutely awful if he were being honest, but he just wasn’t ready to come out to anyone yet. 

Louis focused back in on the film that was playing on the tv, a small yawn leaving his lips as the scene played out on the screen. He leaned back and closed his eyes, letting out a soft sigh. He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but Louis had felt himself drifting off sooner rather than later. 

\---

Louis woke up to a head resting on his and an arms snaked around his side. He blinked his eyes slowly, eyebrows furrowing a bit as he tried to take in his surrounds and identify the person that was beside him. His cheeks flushed and his heart rate sped up when he noticed Harry. Louis stayed still for a moment before he carefully tried to maneuver himself from Harry’s grip, biting his lip when the boy’s hold on him got tighter. 

“No,” He heard Harry mumble quietly, eyes still shut. “Stay.” 

Louis didn’t know when the other boy had fallen asleep either, but he couldn’t say no to him. Not when his voice was thick with sleep from his nap and he looked so cute. Louis just watched Harry for a few moments, a soft, endeared smile curving onto his lips. And fuck, this was a bad, bad idea. Louis knew that. He knew that getting close to that boy was going to be the worst thing he’d ever done, but he was doing it anyway. 

He curled back up to the boy who was lying next to him, eyes closing again. Louis was willing to fuck up a bit if it meant that he could lie there beside Harry for a few more hours. They did end up lying there for quite awhile longer, and Louis had fallen asleep again soon after he’d curled back up to Harry. The next time he woke up though, the other boy was awake as well and when he lifted his head to look around, he ended up bumping his head against Harry’s chin, cheeks flushing.

“Oops,” Harry chuckled, a teasing glint in his eyes.

“Hi,” Louis mumbled back, ducking his head a small smile curved onto his lips. He bit at his lip, shifting slightly on the couch as Harry did the same. “What time is it?” Louis asked a little while later, rubbing his eyes as he looked around a bit. 

“Uh,” Harry mumbled, squinting his eyes a bit to look at the clock that he had by the tv. “About nine.” Louis blinked a bit, glancing at the clock and then back at Harry. 

“Seriously?” He asked. “I really need to go then. My mom was expecting me back in time for dinner,” Louis shifted a bit to get up, a small yawn leaving his lips as he did. A small pout showed on Harry’s lips then and he nodded a bit.

“Alright, yeah,” He murmured, getting up once Louis did. “Thanks for your help with the poem, and then for staying. It was fun.”

Louis grinned at him, nodding. “Course,” He murmured. “And like, we can just hang out if you want. You don’t have to have a poem for me to read. We’re friends, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Harry said softly, a smile curving onto his lips. “Yeah,” He repeated after a while of silence, the two of them just standing by the door. They gave their awkward goodbyes after Louis cleared his throat and softly declared that he really needed to go, a promise of meeting up soon being agreed upon. 

\---

The months past and they hung out more and more. Harry had finished up his poems and submitted the one that was chosen, plus a few more. And they were nearing the Christmas holidays. The Christmas holidays were both some of Louis’ favorite-and least favorite-parts of the year. He was born on December 24th, and he’d always thought it was great, but then he got older.

He was sat with his mom in the living room, waiting for Harry and his mom to arrive. They were going to have dinner together and just catch up. Their families had been aware that the two boys had been friends again for a couple of months now, and were excited to have their boys being friends again. 

When there was a knock on the door, Louis bit at his lip, his knee bouncing a bit. “I’ll get it,” He said quietly, getting up and walking towards the door. Louis would admit, he was quite nervous. He hadn’t been around Harry with family around yet. This was new. “Hi,” He murmured softly when he opened the door and saw Harry standing there with his mom. “Hello, Anne,” Louis added softly, giving the woman a warm smile. 

“Hi, dear,” Anne said with a smile. “It’s so lovely to see you.” 

“You as well,” Louis said, holding the door open and stepping back to let them in. He closed the door slowly, looking at Harry as Anne walked into the living room. “Hi,” Louis whispered quietly; and there had been a feeling between them for quite a few months now. It was tense-not in a bad way, just in a “I-don’t-know-if-this-is-something-more” way. 

“Hey, Lou,” Harry said, smiling softly as he gently knocked his hand against Louis’ side .”C’mon.” 

The two of them walked into the living room and Louis sat down with Harry on the couch. He leaned back, looking around the room with a soft hum as Anne and Jay talked about whatever it was that they were speaking of. Louis glanced at Harry quite a few times, and whenever their eyes met, he’d turn away in an attempt to ignore the blush on his cheeks. 

“You boys hungry?” Louis heard his mom ask. He looked up, smiling. “Yeah, a bit,” He looked over to Harry. “Are you hungry?” Louis asked him. 

“I am, yeah,” Harry said, looking towards Jay.”Thank you.”

“Not a problem, love,” Jay said sincerely, getting up and gesturing for everyone else to do the same. “I made sure to make some food that we all would enjoy.” 

The four of them all sat at the table, Louis ending up beside Harry and their moms on the other side. He thanked Jay softly as she handed him his own plate, then looking down at it before grabbing his fork as Harry did the same. It was quiet at the table, and Louis absolutely hated it. The quiet really bothered him, but he didn’t want to start up a conversation that he wouldn’t feel comfortable finishing. 

They ate dinner in a comfortable silence, minus the sounds of Jay and Anne’s soft conversation. When Louis finished, he got up and took his plate to the kitchen after asking to be excused. He stood in the kitchen, placing his dishes into the sink to rinse them before he set them in the dishwasher. Louis looked up when he heard footsteps behind him, turning his head to look at the person who’d popped up behind him. 

Harry raised an eyebrow at the boy, setting his plates in the sink to do the same. “Are you okay?” He asked Louis, turning the water back on in the sink to begin washing his dishes. Louis nodded slowly, looking at the dishwasher and waiting for Harry to hand him his dishes. He held his hand out for Harry’s dish, looking up at the boy when Harry wrapped his hand around his wrist. “Lou,” Harry murmured lowly, tilting his head to the side. “What’s up?” 

Louis let out a soft sigh, shrugging a bit. “S’just strange,” He finally murmured. “Being here with our moms too, y’know? I’m not used to it.” 

“Yeah,” Harry agreed with a small laugh. “It is a bit strange. But hey, it’s fine, right? This is okay?” 

Louis nodded, looking down at the hand that was now wrapped around his own hand instead of his wrist. “Yeah, it’s okay,” He said softly. “There’s just still a few things you guys don’t know about me, and now I’m really trying to work with it.” 

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed a bit and he let his thumb rub gently over Louis’ hand. “What’s that?” He asked in a quiet whisper. Louis just nodded towards the dishes, signaling for the boy to hand them over and then nodded his head towards his room. 

After he got the dishes into the dishwasher and thanked his mom for dinner, he walked to his room with Harry and sat on the bed with the other boy. “Lou?” Harry asked, watching the smaller boy with a soft, concerned expression creasing his features. 

Louis let out a small breath, lying back on his bed and closing his eyes. “I’ve known this for a while,” He started with, a frown creasing his forehead. “Like, years.” 

Harry was watching the other boy with a concerned expression still, shifting to sit in such a way that his hand could gently brush against the boy’s shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me,” He told him quietly. “I don’t have to know anything you’re uncomfortable with telling me.” 

“I want to though,” Louis said, opening his eyes then to look up at Harry. “I think it’s important that you know. Especially since it’s kind of affecting how I act around you,” He let out a small huff of laugh then. “It’s fucking crazy.” 

Harry just nodded a bit, watching him. “Alright,” He murmured. 

“I’ve known since I was really little that I wasn’t as into girls,” Louis eventually just started with, eyes closing again. “And I mean, I wasn’t ashamed of it. It was just something that I wasn’t comfortable with yet-and I am now. I’m super comfortable with it. Just not to the point where I can tell everyone. I still haven’t told my mom-although I’m pretty sure she knows.” 

“Lou,” Harry whispered quietly, watching Louis. 

“It started with you,” Louis said, glancing up at the boy. “You’ve been so damn sure of yourself since we were kids, H,” He let out a soft laugh. “So ready for whatever anyone threw your way. It was so admirable. Started a bit of a crush.

“I knew then,” Louis said, looking back to his ceiling. “That I wasn’t like Liam when it came to who I wanted to date,” Louis’ cheeks were pink now, and his heart was pounding. “And no, he doesn’t know either. You’re the first one I’ve told,” Louis was talking in a quiet whisper now, having shifted after the small moments of silence so that he was facing Harry. 

Harry was watching Louis, silent as he just took in what the boy was telling him. “And now?” He asked quietly, unsure, as he watched the emotions play out on Louis’ face. 

“I thought those feelings had gone away,” Louis said honestly. “Not talking to someone for years does that,” He ran a hand through his hair. “But the reality is that it doesn’t. Not at all. I still like you just as much as I did when I was fifteen-maybe even more.” 

Harry sat there for a moment then before doing something that he knew may end up coming back to bite him. He tilted his head forward-slowly, in case Louis didn’t want this-his hand moving to gently cup Louis’ cheek as he let his breath fan against Louis’ lips. “You can tell me no,” He whispered, eyes already falling shut. And Louis thought about saying know, trust him-he did, but he’d wanted this for so long and he liked Harry. He liked Harry a lot. So when Harry’s lips brushed once against his, causing him to tense up only slightly, he didn’t let Harry pull away. 

Their kiss lasted only for a moment, their lips brushing together for a few moments before they both pulled away and Louis ducked his head down a bit to block the pink flush to his cheeks. “Was that okay?” Harry whispered softly, his thumb rubbing gently into Louis’ cheek. He watched the smaller boy, getting ready to scoot back and give the boy more space when Louis curled closer to him. A soft smile curled onto Harry’s lips then, and he snaked his arms around the boy curled against him. “Good.” 

\--- 

Not a whole lot changed after that. They were just closer than they had been; the two spent more time together around their families and they hung out together. Although, they still didn’t really hang out at school. That was just something that they knew wasn’t going to really work out on either end. Harry’s friends didn’t really like Louis, and as far as Louis’ friends were concerned he’d forgotten about Harry’s existence entirely. It was just easier to keep his sexuality a secret that way. That’s why when Harry asked him out one day he was really surprised. 

“Go on a date with me,” Harry murmured suddenly one afternoon while they were curled up on the couch. Louis looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“A date with you?” He asked, clarifying. “What kind of a date?” 

“The kind people go on when they like each other,” Harry said, his eyebrows raising in a teasing manner. Louis playfully rolled his eyes, smiling softly at the boy that was sat beside him. 

“I suppose we could do that,” He said slowly, glancing away for a moment and then back to him. “What were you thinking of?” 

Harry shrugged. “I dunno,” He said honestly. “Just want to go on a date with you. Feel like we’re in this half world right now where we don’t know what we’re feeling and stuff.” 

“Yeah,” Louis murmured quietly, curling back up to Harry. That just confirmed Harry’s point, really. They both acted like they were dating-at least when they were alone-but they were both just labeling it as a friendship right now. It was something that Harry really wanted to figure out. In the past few months-and previous years of his life-he’d come to really like Louis. It was really amazing that he knew Louis liked him too. Now it was just the process of figuring out if they were going to do anything about it or not. Harry hoped that they would. 

“We can go to a movie or something,” Harry murmured quietly. “A town or so over. Know you don’t want anyone to know about you, yeah? And I’m not exactly quiet about it,” He rested his chin against the top of Louis’ head. “You can trust me, okay? I promise you that.” 

“I know I can,” Louis murmured, arms tightening around him. “When are we going?” 

“Saturday, maybe?” Harry suggested. Louis nodded and tucked his head into the crook of the boy’s neck. His heart was already racing and it wasn’t even the day of yet.

The next week at school were torturously long for Louis. He didn’t really know how to act around Harry when they weren’t by themselves anymore-especially with their planned date for the Saturday to come. He tried to act normal though, because he wasn’t prepared for what would happen if Liam found out. Liam would be super supportive, he knew, but he just wasn’t ready for something like that. 

Whenever he saw Harry in the hallway, he’d have to duck his head to keep his cheeks from turning too dark. Louis was easily flustered, definitely so with Harry. As the days tracked closer to Saturday, Louis found himself fidgeting often. It was a nervous habit that he’d developed over the years, and it had gotten worse the longer he’d kept his not-so-little secret. 

\---

It was Saturday, the day of the date, and Louis was kind of freaking out. He knew there wasn’t anything to worry about because Harry liked him. Had for a long time, even. Harry knew so much about him and Louis knew that. Louis just didn’t know how ready he was for this date. It was a new experience for him and there were so many things that he didn’t even know. What did someone do if it were awkward? What if they ended up not being able to handle the “dating pressures”. Whatever that meant, honestly. 

When Louis had finished getting ready he got a text from Harry that told Louis that he was here. Louis bit down at his lip, running a hand through his hair and looking at himself in the mirror one more time. He let out a nervous sigh, grabbing his keys, phone, and wallet before heading towards the front door. He was lucky that his mom was gone that night. 

Louis reached the car, a small smile curving onto his lips as he saw Harry leaning against it with a wide grin. “Hiya, love,” Harry said to him. Louis chuckled softly, walking up to him and letting his arms snake around the boy in a hug.

“Hi,” He mumbled softly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

“How are you?” Harry asked as they both got into the car, Harry closing Louis’ door for him before climbing in himself.

“I’m well, thank you,” Louis said softly, looking over to the other boy. “And you?” 

“I’m super,” Harry chirped, his smile widening as he looked at Louis. “You ready for this date?” 

“Yeah,” Louis said with a smile, growing more comfortable and confident the longer he watched Harry. “I am.” 

-

Louis was still nervous as they walked into the small restaurant that Harry had chosen for them. He was looking around, slowly becoming comfortable in the environment that they were in. It was far from their hometown, he could be himself. Louis figured that was the worst part. He couldn’t ever be who he truly, truly was at home and it messed with his head in a way that no one could ever really understand. He knew there were way more benefits to being out than there was to being closeted, but Louis-as mentioned so many times before-just wasn’t ready for that kind of conversation.

He was super comfortable with Harry though. They spent a lot of the time just teasing each other and getting to know the other things that they didn’t already know-not that there was a whole lot of that. Their date was extremely successful. Harry would gently nudge Louis’ foot with his own before asking a question in a curious voice, but gentle enough that Louis knew he didn’t have to answer if he didn’t want to. 

They’d been finished eating their meals for a little bit before Louis asked his next question, the two waiting on the dessert they decided to share. “Why me?” He murmured quietly, looking at Harry once before glancing back down again. “There’s so many other wonderful people...so why me?” 

Harry watched the boy for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing a his hands going to rest on the table. “Lou,” He whispered softly, lips pulling into a frown. “You’re wonderful. You’re the best there is. To me, at least.” 

Louis bit down at his lip, gaze flicking back up to meet Harry’s. “I think that you deserve someone who isn’t afraid, H,” He whispered. 

“Someday you won’t be,” Harry pointed out. “Someday you’ll be able to walk the streets and show the world how proud you are of you,” He let one of his hands reach out to rest on Louis’. “You’ll take the world by storm, sweetheart. You just have to get to that point. And it takes work, because it’s scary as hell.” 

“What if I’m never ready, though?” Louis asked him after another moment of silence. He watched as Harry looked at him, seemingly trying to form his answer.

“Then you’re going to be with someone who doesn’t quite mind that because they know that you’re so, so beautiful and wonderful and there’s no one else on this earth for them.” 

Louis’ cheeks went pink then because of how matter-of-fact Harry said those words. It was almost like he thought them himself, but there wasn’t any reason for Louis to keep that thought in his head. Although, that was probably the day it became a mutual acceptance that, at least for the time being, there wasn’t anyone else either one of them wanted. 

There were a few months that were filled with even more dates. These dates held shy conversations and admittances from Louis, flirting from them both, and they eventually got to a point where Louis held Harry’s hand as they walked into and out of the places where they had their dates. 

It was sometime in February when Harry asked Louis to be his boyfriend-officially, anyway. They’d both kind of accepted the fact that they were technically dating, but it was also a known fact that Harry really liked having that label for it. After Louis said yes, he found that he did too. They were two boys who were trying to find themselves, one of them further than the other, and it was wonderful.

\---

“Louis,” Liam said, a wide smile on his face. “I have some really awesome news!” He sat down beside Louis at the table in the cafeteria, setting his stuff onto the ground. Louis raised an eyebrow in response, looking at his best friend.

“What’s that?” He asked, taking another chip and eating it as he waited for the other boy to speak again. 

“I’ve found you a date to that dance coming up,” Liam informed Louis, a smile still on his lips as Louis tried not to choke on the chip he was eating. He’d forgotten about the dance and Liam’s search for a date for him. 

“Have you?” Louis asked, clearing his throat in an attempt to clear his breathing passage of whatever piece of chip may have been left. “That’s uh, that’s great, mate.” 

“Her name’s Eleanor. She’s super sweet. I think you’ll like her.” 

Louis just nodded along with the things that Liam said, his eyes glancing up in order to meet Liam’s every once in awhile. If Liam knew that something was up, then he’d pretty much have no choice but to tell his friend what was actually going on. Louis cleared his throat lightly. “I’m sure she’s lovely,” He murmured. 

Liam’s eyebrows furrowed a bit as he watched Louis. “Normally you’d be more excited,” He tilted his head a bit. “What’s wrong?”

“Hm?” Louis looked up at Liam, bringing a smile to his lips. “Nothing, Li. I’m fine.” 

“If you say so,” Liam said slowly, shrugging a bit as he slid Louis a piece of paper. “I gave El your number, but here’s her’s if she doesn’t text you.” 

Louis nodded, eating another chip and taking the piece of paper. The two of them sat quietly then, eating their lunch. While most of their lunch was silent, they talked briefly about new movies coming out that they wanted to see, and things that were going on around campus. Louis had looked up at one point and saw Harry, an unconscious smile curving onto his lips when the other boy’s eyes met his own. He looked back to Liam quickly when the boy asked what he was looking at and turned his head.

“Nothing, nothing,” Louis said with a smile. “Just remembered something funny, is all.” 

Liam raised an eyebrow, just shrugging a bit and nodding. “Alright, sure,” He said. They finished up their lunch and then the bell rang signaling the end to the lunch period and threw away their trash before leaving the cafeteria. 

\-- 

_Hey! It’s Eleanor Liam gave me ur number, said u were looking for a date to the dance???_

Louis bit his lip as he read the message, a sigh leaving his lips. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say no more than anything, but he knew that if he did Liam would find out. Louis read over the message a couple of more times before slowly beginning to type out a reply. 

_yeah, i am. you interested?_

That was okay, right? Not too flirty, and not too suggestive. He fell back on his bed, staring at the ceiling as he waited for a reply. Louis was so torn. What would happen if Harry found out? Did Harry even have to know? He hated dances anyway--Louis didn’t even think he was going. He opened up the message when his phone went off again. 

_If u are._

Louis let out a soft groan, closing his eyes. He really wasn’t. 

_Ofc. Just text me your address and I’ll pick you up at 7._

After Louis hit send he set his phone down beside him. He drummed his fingers lightly against the bed and stared up at the ceiling. What was he going to do? When this got around school Harry was bound to find out and Louis didn’t want to know what that would entail. He let out a soft sigh, getting up and walking to the bathroom. The dance was Saturday. He could keep it from spreading, couldn’t he? When he went to bed that night, he made sure to text Harry a ‘goodnight xxx’ before closing his eyes. Louis was not going to screw up this relationship. He couldn’t. 

The next morning came too quickly, and Louis was yawning as he went to school. He hadn’t slept well that night. Louis hummed a bit when he heard someone call his name, turning around only to find Liam.

“Hey!” Liam said, eyes bright. “I heard you’re going with El to the dance? Great choice, mate, really. She’s absolutely lovely.” 

Louis let a small smile curve onto his lips because Liam was a good guy. He just wanted the best for his friend and Louis couldn’t fault him for that. “Yeah,” Louis affirmed, nodding his head a bit. “I am. She seems great, really.” 

“She is,” Liam agreed. “I heard that she’s like, not having the best time right now and just wants to relax,” He shrugged. “Figured she’d have a good time with you.”

Louis brought a hand up to rub his eyes a bit then. Now he felt awful on two ends. “That’s shit, mate,” He murmured. “Don’t worry though, yeah? I’ll make sure she has a good time.” 

“Knew you would!” Liam grinned. “I’ve gotta get to class though, but I’ll see you at lunch? Maybe Eleanor can join us?” 

“I’ll see if she can, yeah,” Louis murmured, biting his lip a bit. This was going to be shit. Absolute shit.

\--

By the time lunch rolled around, Louis had quite a few people asking him if what Eleanor had said was true: if he was going to the dance with her. Which, what the fuck? He’d never spoken to half of these people before. Louis let out an annoyed sigh as he sat down at the table Liam was at. 

“You okay, mate?” Liam asked him, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Fuckin’ annoyed,” Was all Louis muttered, running a hand through his hair. He lifted his head then, his eyes scanning across the cafeteria. Louis looked back down when he didn’t find the face he was looking for. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Liam asked. 

“Not quite,” Louis told him. “But thanks,” He said, voice softer when he realized how snappy he sounded. He knew it wasn’t Liam’s fault. It was just going to be work trying to remember that. 

They sat in silence for a little bit before Louis began to scroll through his phone, stilling a chip from Liam after a few moments. “You know,” He heard Liam say. “If this is about people knowing that you’re going with El to the dance you could tell her to stop making a big deal out of it.”

Louis raised an eyebrow then, looking up at Liam. “You’ve heard it too, then?” He asked. 

“Lou,” Liam chuckled, “If she doesn’t shut her mouth it’s going to be news all over the school by the end of the day.” 

Louis pouted a bit, running a hand through his hair. “I thought you said she was a nice girl!” He accused. 

“She is, she is,” Liam defended himself, frowning a bit. “She just also likes to run her mouth.” 

“Where is she, anyway?” Louis asked as he looked around again, not seeing the petite brunnette or his boyfriend--not that he’d be able to do much other than smile at Harry anyway. “Haven’t seen her all day.” 

Liam shrugged a bit. “Put you in charge of asking her, remember? And I think you volunteered.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis muttered, rolling his eyes. “I know.” 

The remainder of their lunch was pretty quiet, only small conversation about what they did the previous weekend (which Louis had to be very vague about considering he spent a large chunk of his time with Harry) and what they were doing after the dance. Louis and Liam were walking out of the cafeteria to go to their next class when Louis’ phone went off signaling a text. 

He furrowed his eyebrows, continuing to walk with Liam as he opened the text from Harry. Louis let out a soft sigh as his eyes scanned over the message, rubbing his temple. “Shit,” He muttered, quickly typing out a reply before slipping his phone into his pocket. 

“Everything okay?” Liam asked, looking towards Louis as they walked into the classroom. 

“Yeah,” Louis said quietly even though he knew everything was not okay. 

\--

“What the _fuck_ Louis?” Harry asked, arms crossed and voice a bit higher than normal. Harry’s mom wasn’t home, thank goodness, and he was pissed .Beyond pissed, actually. 

“Harry, c’mon,” Louis said quietly, stepping closer. “It’s not a big deal, I swear-”

“Not a big deal?” He asked, voice rising. “Yeah, of course not, it’s _no_ big deal. Not like you’re my fucking boyfriend or anything!” 

Louis winced a bit as Harry’s voice rose. He was really mad. “Liam offered to set me up and like, you know I don’t want to come out yet and-” 

“So you were going to go to the dance with her?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. “Without even telling me?” He rolled his eyes. “What the hell Louis?” Harry asked. “I would’ve been fine if you would’ve told me, but no I had to fucking overhear it from someone I don’t even know!” 

The room went quiet then and Harry roughly ran his fingers through his hair. Louis didn’t know what to say to that and he didn’t know how to fix this. Harry walked over to the couch, sitting down and resting his elbows on his knees as his head went to rest on his hands. He let out a slow breath, closing his eyes and releasing it. 

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispered quietly, walking over to sit beside him. “I am,” He mumbled. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I wanted to, I just-” 

“Just what, Lou?” Harry whispered then, voice slightly rough from the yelling and what had to be him crying a bit. 

“Just-” He sighed softly. “I don’t know.” Louis watched as Harry just shook his head, lifting it to look at Louis. 

“I can deal with you not being ready to come out Louis,” Harry whispered quietly. “I can deal with you being scared or whatever. I can wait for you until we get out of this school even! But,” He rubbed his eyes. “I can’t deal with the boy I love keeping things like this from me when he knows I wouldn’t be mad if he’d told me.” 

Louis froze a bit then, furrowing his eyebrows. “H,” He whispered quietly. 

“I mean fuck, Lou,” Harry laughed humorlessly. “Those poems-I only needed one. I could’ve left after our first session together. I just wanted to spend time with you.” 

“Harry,” Louis whispered. “I didn’t-” 

“Just wanted the friendship back,” Harry mumbled quietly. “And then I went and fell for you and now you’re going to the dance with some girl and I didn’t even find out from you.” 

Louis looked at Harry, gently nudging him. “Haz,” He whispered quietly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t-I didn’t know. I didn’t even think about what we were doing. I wanted to spend time with you too,” Louis waited for Harry to look up before continuing. “You said the boy you loved,” He murmured. “Did you mean it?” 

Louis watched as Harry let out another humorless breath of a laugh, nodding slightly. “Yeah, Lou,” He murmured. “I meant it. Love you. Think I always have.” 

“Hey,” Louis said quietly, nudging Harry again. “I love you too,” He mumbled. “Really, really do. The idea of losing you because of this terrified me. I just didn’t know what I should do.” 

It was quiet between the two of them for what felt like ages before Harry spoke again. “You don’t have to come out for me, okay? Like ever,” He murmured. “But just tell me if you’re going on some kind of date with some girl. Please.” 

“I will,” Louis promised, nodding. He looked at Harry, shifting on the couch and holding his arms out a bit. “Cuddle?” Louis murmured softly, biting gently at the inside of his cheek. 

Harry looked up at him, a soft smile curving onto his lips as he nodded and moved to be closer to Louis. He rested in the open spot between his arms, letting out a content sigh as Louis wrapped his arms around Harry. “I love you,” Harry whispered quietly, looking up at Louis.

“I love you,” Louis murmured back softy. “Is it alright if I kiss you?” He asked, smiling as Harry nodded and tilted his head so their lips could brush together. Everything was okay. There was something that felt really strong about what they had, and Louis was so thankful. “Do you want to come eat lunch with Liam and I tomorrow?” He murmured as they pulled apart. “Think I want him to meet you. Know I do.” 

“Would love to,” Harry mumbled back, smiling as he tucked his head into the crook of Louis’ neck. 

\--

Louis isn’t quite sure how he managed to talk Anne into letting him stay the night with Harry, but he woke up the next morning curled up with the other boy. He grinned, pressing a kiss to the other boy’s head. “Haz,” He murmured softly. “Baby, c’mon. We’ve got school.” 

 

Harry let out a soft whine, pouting and snuggling deeper into the covers closer to Louis. “No,” He mumbled. 

“Babe,” Louis chuckled. “I wanna talk to Liam before classes start, yeah? Need to tell him some things.” 

Harry’s lips were stuck in a pout as he slowly opened his eyes and shifted to look up at Louis. “What things?” 

“You,” Louis said simply, leaning down to gently peck Harry’s lips. “Got a toothbrush I can borrow?” 

Harry, lips pulled into a soft smile, nodded. “In the cabinet underneath the sink,” He whispered softly, nuzzling his nose against Louis’ jawline. “Love you,” Harry mumbled. “You can go ahead if you want. I’ll catch up with you at lunch?” 

Louis nodded. “Alright, yeah,” He said softly. “Love you.” 

After Louis brushed his teeth and borrowed some of Harry’s clothes--surprising to them both that there were some that fit--he headed to the school to meet up with Liam. Louis was so nervous. It wasn’t that he thought Liam wouldn’t be supportive, it was just he didn’t know how to go about it. Louis hadn’t come out to anyone except for Harry--at least directly. Louis knew one thing for sure though: he loved Harry Styles more than he’d ever thought possible and he was ready for people to know. He didn’t understand why he hadn’t gotten to this point sooner, but he was here now. And he was so ready. 

Louis got to the school, bookbag swung over his shoulder as he headed to his locker where he was going to meet Liam. He felt his stomach fill up with nerves, biting anxiously at his lip. There were a thousand questions forming in his mind, but he knew that if he worried about them that he wouldn’t do this. And this was something he needed to do. 

When he saw Liam leaning against his locker, Louis took a deep breath and headed towards him. “Hey, Li,” He said as he reached the other boy, smiling.

“Hey, Lou,” Liam said, smiling back. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis said softly. “Everything’s okay. I just really wanted to tell you something, actually.” 

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?’ He asked. “You wanna talk here, or go somewhere else?” 

“Here’s okay, I think,” Louis said, beginning to open his locker. “So um, you know that boy I used to be really close with?” He asked. “Harry?” 

Liam nodded a bit. “You mentioned him a couple of times, yeah. Why?” 

“Well,” Louis said as he put his bag into his locker. “We’re friends again.”

“Lou, that’s great,” Liam said earnestly, smiling. “S’not a big deal.”

“That’s not the issue,” He murmured. Louis was quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out the best way to tell Liam about his sexuality. He looked around the hall, making sure no one else was around before he spoke. “I’m gay, Li,” Louis said softly, closing his locker and looking at his best friend. 

“As in you like guys?” Liam asked, tilting his head to the side. 

“Mhm,” Louis affirmed, nodding a bit.

Liam was quiet for a bit before he spoke again. “Can I ask like, how long you’ve known? Or like, thought about it?” 

“‘ve known for years, I think,” He murmured. “Just, didn’t have a reason to come out to anyone. And it’s pretty scary, y’know? But um, then I started hanging with Harry again and I used to have the most embarrassing crush on him,” Louis laughed softly. “And it just never left. So when we started hanging again, I suddenly had a reason to be open with it.” 

Liam watched Louis for a few moments before a smile curved onto his lips again. “I’m happy for you, mate,” He murmured. “Proud of you, too.” 

“Thank you,” Louis said, letting out a relieved breath. “You have no idea how much that means, Li.” 

Liam grinned brightly. “You’re my best mate, Louis,” He said, nudging him. “M’not gonna like, throw you to the curb. Now, do I get to formally meet Harry?” 

Louis nodded. “He’s gonna have lunch with us today. “

“Great!” Liam said, nodding. “And uh, what about Eleanor?” He asked. 

“That I haven’t figured out yet,” Louis murmured. “I don’t want her to like, not have a date, but I don’t want to go with her. I’d rather take Harry if I’m honest, and I’m not sure how to get over worrying about what other people think to do it.” 

“We’ll figure something out,” Liam said. “Think there’s a guy named Max that has been interested in Eleanor. See if he’ll sweep her off her feet.” 

\--

By the time the dance came around, Liam had successfully found Eleanor another date after Louis explained to her what happened. She was pissed off, yeah, but she got over it when Max asked her to the dance. It was a bit relieving, having more than one person know. After Louis had come out to Liam, he went home after school that day and told his mom. His mom had wrapped her arms tight around him and murmured softly how proud she was of him. 

“Lou I don’t think it goes like that,” Harry giggled quietly, raising an eyebrow as he watched Louis attempt at putting on his tie. 

Louis pouted his lip. “How does it go then?” He asked, dropping it to the bed. 

“Like this,” Harry murmured softly, getting up with a teasing glint in his eyes as he grabbed the tie and carefully wrapped it around Louis’ neck. He tied it up how he remembered his mom telling him those years ago, smiling at Louis when he got it. “There.” 

Louis let out a soft sigh, tilting his head to brush his lips against Harry’s. “Thank you,” He murmured gently, hands moving to rest at Harry’s hips. “Love you,” He added. 

“I love you,” Harry said back, pecking Louis’ lips. “Do I look okay?” He asked, stepping back. Harry wasn’t wearing a tie, but he looked just as nice--if not better--than Louis did. At least that’s what Louis thought. 

“You look absolutely wonderful, darling,” Louis said softly, grinning as he held out his hand. “You ready to go take the world by storm?”

Harry laughed. “Lou, it’s just a dance,” He said.

“Our world, then,” Louis argued softly. 

Eyes bright, Harry smiled and nodded. “Let’s knock ‘em dead, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> so ta-da! that's it. I really hope that you've enjoyed reading and if you want to talk to me or something my tumblr is merrykatie.tumblr.com ! 
> 
> the end of the Eleanor stuff probably feels a bit rushed, but like. I didn't want to focus too much on that. 
> 
> I hope you feel like leaving kudos and commenting and maybe bookmarking this. I hope you all have a happy holiday season! <3


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